Sunday 26 September 2010
This Is The Dawning Of The Age Of Aquarius . . . Hey, I’m NOT A Serial Killer!
I’ve been über-lazy here, and recycled a note that I wrote for my Facey account, with a couple of additions to it. Oh, get over it! It’s my blog and I’ll do what I want to (if you’re really cool, you could sing that last statement to the tune of Lesley Gore’s ‘It’s My Party’.)
Yes, I’m into astrology. I like reading about my Zodiac sign, but I’m no Zodiac Killer. Predictably, I’m a typical Aquarian . . . mostly . . . when I’m not falling on the Capricorn side of the cusp.
*** All of the quotations in this post are Author unknown. I’m sure someone wrote them; I just don’t know who it was. Sorry. ***
“Aquarians think they are brilliant because it’s The Age of Aquarius!” It’s true, we do. And boy, haven’t we had to wait an excruciatingly long time for The Age of Aquarius to come around? Trust me on that, as I’ve been an Aquarian my whole life. Well, technically, I was born on the cusp of Capricorn and Aquarius, so I guess that makes me a Capriquarian, or an Aquaricorn . . . but let’s just stick with me being an Aquarian. It’ll make things easier. FYI, our Aquarian motto is ‘I know’ because we clearly think we do.
“Displaying eccentricity, independence, idealism and humanitarian qualities, they are often way ahead of the times in their thinking.” The eccentricity bit doesn’t sit well with me, and I think it’s the Capricorn part of me saying ‘What the hell? Capricorns are reserved, introverted, cautious, embarrassed by PDAs, and practical. Eccentric my ass!’ I don’t think I’m that eccentric . . . I’m not odd, or unusual, am I? Don’t answer that – it was a rhetorical question. Oh, I probably wouldn’t listen to you if you said yes anyway.
Independent? Absolutely. I’ll ask for help if I need it, but I’ll generally make sure I don’t need it. Yep, independent. My mum was devastated on my first day of pre-school. We arrived at the class, and I immediately saw another kid, walked right up to her and said ‘Hi, my name’s Danielle. What’s yours?’ and I then left my obviously upset mother at the door, as I disappeared inside with my new friend. I’ve never really relied on anyone for anything. If I want something, I get it myself. If I want to go somewhere, I’m quite happy to go alone. To be brutally honest, I don’t understand when people say they don’t like to be alone. To me, it’s completely strange to need to have people around you all the time. I’m aware that this now is making me sound as though I might be the perfect candidate to be suspected of being a serial killer. I think I should stop explaining my independence right now.
Idealism and humanitarian qualities – well, thank God for that. Something that doesn’t make me seem as though I am a serial killer in training. I’m happy to admit that I’m terribly idealistic, almost to the point of probably seeming to be naïve. I can’t help it. For me, the world is black and white. There’s right and there’s wrong, so why do we need any of the grey in between? That’s just the sort of thing that causes confusion and gets the human race into all sorts of stupid situations. Wouldn’t it be brilliant to solve all of the world’s problems? It can’t really be that hard, can it? Everyone just has to start respecting everyone else. Yeah, yeah, I can hear you all laughing now. And NO, I’m not a hippy.
Humanitarian. Well . . . my idealism is about to kick in again. I don’t understand why some people are so narcissistic, egocentric, self-absorbed, whatever you want to call them. Is it not better to work for the good of all humankind, than try to establish your dominance and squash as many people as you can on the way up? And how do so many people who have the ability to help others simply overlook those in need? How is it at all possible to close your eyes to the injustice and prejudice prevalent in our society? Sorry, soapbox moment.
“Be prepared for the unexpected with Aquarians. Naturally kind-hearted and serene by nature, they nevertheless love to shock more conservative personalities with unpredictable behaviour.” Again, my Capricorn side is going ‘Nuh-ah’, while the Aquarian part is laughing her ass off. Sadly though, I think I have become predictably unpredictable. I can almost see my friends nodding their heads at this point. Rest assured, I will probably be the one in a group of people doing the one thing that no one else is game enough to do – unless it involves spiders, of the arachnid variety not the soft drink and ice cream sort. And my friends are also laughing at the idea of me going out of my way to shock people with the things I do or say. You know the person who says the silly thing at the inappropriate time? Yeah, that’s me. I’ve often heard the comment ‘I can’t believe you just did/said that.’ Well, you should probably just cut to the chase and believe it, because I most likely did it or said it.
And new friends, I’ve been telling you for a while that I’m calm, serene, settled, and none of you ever believed me. Ooh, the other thing . . . I can’t help it, but I’m . . . *cringes* occasionally nice. (Not sweet, nice. Yes, there’s a difference! Especially because I’m badass and nice, which I know, don’t really go together, but I’m an Aquarian and I can pull it off. I can be your nicest worst nightmare . . . or something like that. Shut the hell up or I’ll hurt you . . . and then apologise for doing it. See? Badass and nice.) I don’t like not being nice. And no, it’s not creepy . . . until you factor in that I don’t mind being by myself, and then the whole serial killer thing rears its ugly head again.
“Freedom and friends mean everything to Aquarians. Intensely interested in almost everyone they meet, they attract people like bees to a honey and love to uncover the secret workings of others minds.” Yep, love my freedom, and most of the time it’s enough to know that I can leg it if I need to. I have to be able to do what I want, when I want to do it. If I can’t, you’ll know – that’s when Ms. Petulant appears, or I’ll simply disappear, never to be seen again, by you.
If we’re friends, expect me to say hi often, okay, almost every day (alright, for some of you it’s everyday). It may be the only thing I say to you all day, but I just like you to know that I’ve thought about you that day (it’s that nice thing again). So, don’t be offended if you only get a ‘Hope you have a fabulous day’ and nothing else from me. I have thought about you, and it doesn’t mean I like you any less than anyone else just because we haven’t had an in-depth conversation. At other times, I may want to have a conversation with ‘only you’. It’s not weird; I may just want to spend quality time with you . . . or I’m trying to psychologically analyse you, so that I can figure out what’s going on in your head. Hey, what can I say? I think you might be a potential candidate for committing some heinous crime. I like you. In fact, I probably think you’re awesome, or nice, or sweet. (Yeah, not so funny when you’re on the receiving end of the ‘sweet’ comment, is it? Suck it up, princesses!) Plus, we Aquarians often value our friendships higher than love *insert Spewinator action here*, according to all the stuff I’ve read. Hmm, that goes a long way towards explaining me.
Uncovering the secret workings of others minds – interesting and undeniable. As an Aquarian, I will definitely try to get to the bottom of what’s going on with you. I love all things psychological, and one of the best ways to learn about what makes people tick, is to people watch. Oh, how I love to people watch. Love. It. No, it’s not creepy, or serial killer-ish. I know loads of people who like to people watch, and only a few of them are odd.
However, if you think I’m simply being superficial in my dealings with you, I’m not really. It’s just that Aquarians are quite speedy when sizing up, and reacting to, a situation. Apparently, we Aquarians are often accused of coolness and lack of emotion, as we tend to try to maintain objectivity. Still, people seem to feel it’s safe to vent with me, I’m not entirely sure why, but hey, I don’t usually mind. I’ll listen: I’m good at listening. I’ll give you advice if you want me to. I’ll probably give you advice even if you don’t want me to. Yeah okay, it’s a little serial killer-ish again, isn’t it?
And I’m sorry, if you’re one of my friends, you should expect me to go out of my way to do things for you. I like doing things for other people . . . not job things, nice things. I might help promote your product, or let you hide out in my classroom if you’re trying to avoid someone. Ooh, I love giving my friends annoying and irritating presents because a) I like to stir you up, or b) you’ve stirred me up and that is your punishment gifts, and I’ll definitely go in to bat for you if you need support. I’m pretty sure I’d be one of the first people you know to put their hand up and volunteer to help you with stuff . . . but only if I like you. If I don’t like you, sucked in! Aquarians will find any excuse not to engage in any public sort of, how should I explain it? Public displays of affection. Okay, just keep your hands off me. I’m not really a hugging kinda girl, but I suppose if you really need one, well, I guess I could try. Wait, that’s not entirely true – there are a few people I have no problem hugging, like Hugh Jackman, Edward Norton, and Robert DeNiro. Not that I’ve ever actually hugged them, but I sure as hell would definitely volunteer to do it if they needed one.
“Enjoying fame and recognition, Aquarians are believed to be the geniuses of the Zodiac.” Ummmm, which fame and recognition would that be? Oh, the stuff that the likes of Oprah, Ellen, Geena Davis, and Matt Groening have – yes, they’re all Aquarians, and apparently hogging all the limelight from the rest of us! Well, I can’t deny that I’d love to be famous, but I do prefer to just quietly go on about my business without drawing much attention. That’s not to say that I don’t, occasionally, like to be acknowledged if I do something good. As to genius – there’s a fine line between genius and madness, and while many fabulous inventions have been made by Aquarians, we are also the most common sign to be found in mental institutions. Told you it’s all black and white with us.
And there you have it: An insight into an Aquarian . . . not that you probably give two hoots. Although, other Aquarians reading this are going ‘Hell yeah, we’re awesome.’ To those Aquarians I say, I know.