Going To The Chapel

Saturday 16 October, 2010

As you know, I’ve said a number of times that I don’t want to get married and have kids. It’s not my thing. However, (yes, there’s always a however, isn’t there?) what many of you don’t know, is that a little over four weeks ago (at the time of writing this post) I took a huge risk and jumped into a pretty serious relationship. I know, there are a few of you who are probably disappointed with me because I didn’t let you in on the secret, and you’re finding out with the rest of the world right now. For that, I sincerely apologise, but you do need to understand and appreciate that I’m a private person. A few of you, perhaps, are smiling and thinking ‘Thank goodness, Danielle’s finally doing something adult’. And I’d bet there are a number of you saying ‘You go girl. Now spill it, and tell us all about this guy.’

Okay, the fact of the matter is this: I’m only writing this post because, for a few months, I’ve been fending off requests from a few people to “tell me about yourself”. You all know I don’t do that whole ‘I desperately need to tell you . . . ’ stuff. I was never much of a girly chat girl. Look, I’ll be honest, I’m still not that kinda girl, and I guess that’s why I’ve never understood why women watch shows like Sex And The City . . . although, I did rather enjoy Cashmere Mafia.

Anyway, on to the bit you’re all waiting for . . .

Let’s get the superficial stuff out of the way. He’s gorgeous. There, I said it. He is H.O.T. Oh, he’s smart as well. I know: some people have all the luck. The best part though, is that whenever I need him, he’s more than happy to be around for me, with no complaints. I’m talking 24/7. It’s an exclusive relationship. Sorry, ladies, I have to brag. The guy doesn’t mind being at my beck and call. Yes, I think he’s close to perfect.

What else? His name is Mac, but he’s not Scottish. In fact, Mac is from the good ole U.S. of A. Unlike my previous relationships with “Power” Pete, and “All White” Ian, Mac is really up to date with technology, which is fantastic. Mac also doesn’t mind that I still need to see Pete and Ian on occasion. He’s been very understanding about that. He’s also athletic, and as such, he’s quite a fast runner. He totally understands my need to write, and on more than one occasion he’s sat up with me for as long as I’ve been writing a story. Not once, on those occasions, has he interrupted me with banal small talk or trivialities.

Speaking rather sensitively, Mac is a little on the small side, but he’s much bigger than both Pete and Ian, so I’m not complaining. I don’t think he’d mind me mentioning that fact. He’s forward thinking, and while he’s a bit modest, he’s certainly not shy. It is a little odd however, having to deal with the sneers of jealous women when they see him. The guy is buff, and as recently as Friday, when he joined me for a period of time at work, I did have to set the ground rules with one of my colleagues – she could look, but there was no way in hell she was putting her hands anywhere near him. She did spend the ten minutes we were talking, enviously eyeing him over. But you know what? Mac is such a darling, that he didn’t even notice she was checking him out.

As previously stated, Mac’s from out of town, so I don’t have to suffer the indignity of him having had a relationship with any other woman in town. He even volunteered to move here with me, after only having spoken a few times on the Internet. Yes, that’s right, I met him on the Net and we both knew that it was love at first sight. And he’s been so sweet to help me with my bloggy thing posts and my writing. Mac has been working as my editor.

Okay, I can’t draw this out any longer, Mac does have a few strikes against him. He refuses to take out the garbage, he can’t cook, and he always manages to avoid doing the dishes. Whenever I need to have the dishes done, it just happens to fall in with Mac’s powernap time. But he’s just so damned cute, that I can’t stay mad at him for long. And buff, did I mention that he was buff?

Look, about the small comment. When I say small, I mean he’s . . . a little over 13 inches long. That’s not too bad, is it?

Right about now, I’d imagine that some of you have put two and two together and got seven, while possibly for a few of you the penny has dropped. My guy is . . . a MacBook Pro notebook computer, and I’m smitten with him. As for “Power” Pete – he’s my old PowerBook G4 – and “All White” Ian, well, he’s my really old iBook. Each notebook has its own function: Mac is purely for writing, the PowerBook is the computer I use for work, and the iBook is used mostly these days as a portable DVD player. I’m also in a long-term relationship with Igor, my iPod. What can I say? I’m a bit of an Apple junkie.

At the moment, I’m very much enjoying Mac’s company. I’ll also admit that I don’t want to leave him alone. I have found many excuses for taking him almost everywhere I go, just in case I need to use him. Most of the excuses revolve around ‘Hey, I’m a writer and I never know when a good idea is going to come to me.’

There you have it; my current relationship is one of the cyber variety. And just for the record, I don’t actually name my gadgets. That would just be weird. Now, if you’ll just excuse me, Mac and I are having a quiet night in with a new novel.


About Danielle

I like to write. What more is there to know?
Gallery | This entry was posted in Armchair Philosophy. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Going To The Chapel

  1. Stuart Ross McCallum says:

    Ah Dani, what a delightful post reading about your current love. It has left me smiling. However, I also have a somewhat annoying song resonating in my mind at far too frequent intervals. 🙂

  2. gracekays says:

    aww you nasty thing lol. I was already drooling about your amazing ‘catch’
    Great post….you got me though!

  3. Rebecca says:

    This is hilarious!! I was starting to think you were deluded as no-one is that perfect!! Ha ha, love the way you wrote that. xx

  4. Well done Lil Sis lol,
    You got me good and anyone else who read that no doubt.
    Cheers 🙂

  5. Beth Hoffman says:

    ROTFL ……. I love this post! Priceless.

  6. propagandme says:

    Loved the post!

    As a hilarious side note, did anyone else notice that the Google ad for this page at the end of the post was for Dell? That cracked me up. (Copied and pasted below.)

    Ads by Google
    Dell – Official Site
    Get amazing deals on Dell laptops and computers today. Don’t delay!

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