Monday 17 October 2011
‘I was reading some stuff on IMDB and Wiki on my fav actresses and their stories. And I had a sorta brain wave what if I could take those stories and loosely weave them into now?’ And that, in her own words, is the idea behind this guest post from the divine Venus Alexis. When I first proposed the idea to my guest bloggers, I have to admit that I was practically on my knees praying that Venus would agree to write for me. I’ve been a fan of her writing for a while. Now, finally, I have a purpose-written creative post for my blog by a highly talented woman, who is one of my favourite writers, and I’m ecstatic. On top of the fact that Venus is smart, witty, creative, gorgeous, and wise, she is one of the sweetest . . . or most bad-ass (depending on which one she’d prefer to go for) people you’ll ever have the chance to meet. And if you do get the chance to meet her in real life, I highly recommend that you make the most of that opportunity… So, settle in and read about Judy, Judy, Judy.
… It was absolutely great running into you again, but I swear you don’t have to follow me home I’m fine Teach. Fine. I’m almost there.
… No I SWEAR I’m fine. Ya I just got back. Ok I have to run to the bathroom. Ok. Yep. Good to see ya too Teach. Ok bye. Ya maybe we’ll set a lunch date or something, ya, ya, I’ll tell ya alllllll about it. Uh huh. Ok sorry Teach gotta jet … K byyyyyeeeee! click.
… Seriously, Teach? Again? Well, I’m not in some gorgeous scenic tropical setting sipping a latte anymore… no, things have changed. Now, I’m in a cheaply rented room, staring at the carpet peeling up from the floor, stench of depression and mold looming in the air, and I’m smugly inhaling a stale Marlboro listening to “self esteem” and downing half a bottle of Crown Royal. Ha! In the 90’s this would have been a seduction. But, it’s not the 90’s is it? It’s my reality. Bags under my eyes, greasy unwashed reality. So what do you really want to know?
… I’ve been in silence for some time with my writing. So what? Not because I couldn’t write, or didn’t want to write, but rather I just shouldn’t.
… maybe, but I had been focused on all the positive, white, fluffy pretty little things that had been going on in my life, and everyone was on team me! Yayyyyy! High 5’s!
…”They” wanted to believe that someone’s dream could come true. Someone could change their world. Someone who worked hard, could and would have done something absolutely fantastic. I could have. I would have. And by all intents and purposes – I should have. You know, take one for the little guy. Make believing, something to believe in again…. funny “make – believing” ha.
… I say I shouldn’t write, because I shouldn’t tell the thoughts I really want to say. Not I can’t, not – I won’t. But I really shouldn’t. It’s not really conducive to Oprah’s enlightening teachings or The Secret. You know that brain washed garble that’s replacing the Bible?
…Guess what you precious little vapid princesses? It’ll hurt when you fall off your pretty pedestals. Blind. So blind. To be what you want, you have to really be what “they” want. That’s why they’re all numb, brainwashed, dry as toast carbon copies. Simple, I see it so clearly now.
… All things that come around, go around. Isn’t that what “they” say Teach, well now isn’t it?
… I shouldn’t write about this because then I’ll feel like not only will I have sabotaged my own self, but all those who’ve supported me for the last 15 something years. I couldn’t do that to them. I wouldn’t do that to them. Being a bubble burster on top of being a semi-charmed failure isn’t a responsibility I’m ready for.
… I shouldn’t tell people that yes, having it ripped from under your feet right before its delivered is sometimes the most devastating thing in the world. But you can’t trade the feeling of being unconditionally involved for anything in the world.
… I shouldn’t tell you that I don’t have regrets. I really don’t. I may have made inconvenient decisions and I may not be happy about them right this instant, but every decision I’ve made leads to a new adventure. So I don’t. I know people want to hear that I’m upset about the wrong doing, but I’m really not. They want me to be sad so they can rationally process something. Comfort me, then it’ll be done. – Its’ always about them.
… It makes me laugh that people idolize her. They idolize her for her timeless beauty, and her quirky, lovable self. Everyone gets blinded by the glitter. Mindless sheep. *shakes head* can’t blame them… really? right?
…No one knows that she had 2 sides. Everyone has 2 sides. Facktwats.
…There’s a yin and yang to all of us.
…What was it like? It was amazing, but tiring at the same time. Nothing was ever good enough. It was like being stuck in a bubble. You had to make everyone believe you were having the time of your life. Sometimes I was actually drunk enough to believe that I was. Power of thought hey…. *coughs*
… No I don’t think I want to talk to your class, if I never have to say another thing in my entire life I could be perfectly content.
…Sorry not there yet. I know those kids want to believe in the dream. I just don’t fucking care, I don’t, I do not care! Not trying to be rude of course Teach. But I just don’t. Which is why I “shouldn’t be talking or writing or communicating with anyone”. I just want reality. And right now, what’s real is what’s in front of me. FOR the first time in my life, I just want to enjoy it. It doesn’t glitter, it doesn’t shine, no one cares about it and for once, I have something REAL for me. That’s all. Time to unplug, unwind, and come undone. No, no, thank you for your time Teach. Great to hear your voice. Hope you find what it is you’re looking for.”
Judy who were you just talking to?
…. Not a single soul darling, I was simply over the rainbow. Everyone needs a trip to Oz now and then.