Saturday 10 December 2011
As with Honor, I was ecstatic when my guest writer agreed that writing a post for this series was something that she’d like to turn her hand to. I’ve admired her creativity for a long time, and I always looked forward to seeing what was next out of the mind of this lady. Ah, Gemma . . . I could tell you all a lot about her. I could offer up anecdotes that describe potentially embarrassing situations, but for every one of her embarrassing situations that I might remember, I’m convinced that Gemma has just as much blackmail material on me. So, we’ll just leave that alone, thank you. Besides, I know that having dealt with the infamous ‘Wall Of Shame’ in my Drama room, Gemma would handle any potentially embarrassing situations with grace and dignity, and far, far better than I ever would. 😉 What do I want to tell you about my guest writer today? Well, firstly, let me explain how I know this talented and creative lady . . . I had the distinct privilege of being Gemma’s high school Drama teacher. Yes, I’m that old! I got to see Gemma at her absolute best as a student, and I think I may have caught a few of her not-so-good moments a couple of times too. I’m not sure if Gemma knows or realises this, but I expected so much more from her than I did from other students, and I pushed her mercilessly to be better – a better writer, a better performer, a better director, a better student – all because I knew how far she could go if she really wanted to. It was an absolute joy to watch Gemma perform a piece of theatre, whether it was a published piece, or something that she’d created herself. This lady has got it. I have always considered myself privileged to have taught Gemma, and her presence made my classroom the best in the school. Of that, I have no doubt. So what about Gemma now? She’s still a talented, creative, and intelligent young lady, it’s just that now, she’s happy and all grown up with a gorgeous family of her own. And my final words before you read the piece that Gemma wrote for this series are directed specifically at you, Gemma: You always, always made me proud of you, and like I wrote a long time ago, you are a real star. And Gemz, the world is a much brighter place for having you in it. 😉 Now, kids, go read Gemma . . .
I grew up today. A lot. I think I may have even lost a friend because of it, but I’m honestly okay with that. Today I made a decision to stick to what I believed in about myself and part with that piece of myself that is driven to always, always put how someone feels about me away for good.
I grew up a total mis-fit. Don’t get me wrong, everything was great until high school. Then all the friends I had for the first 7 years of my schooling life didn’t want a bar of me. Small town, small school – it was hard to move on from that. I drifted for a while, hung out with different groups at different times. I didn’t have the worst school life by a long shot. But it wasn’t the best I could have made it either.
For someone who professed to not care what anyone thought of me, I spend an awful lot of time stressing myself sick – literally – over what people might feel. She might feel like I said the wrong thing, didn’t care enough, wasn’t supportive enough. Whatever.
Today I made a break from that. I know in my heart I did the right thing. I treated someone the right way and did what I could to help them in a troubling time. How that person chose to interact with me is on their head. Their choices, their actions, their feelings. I can’t be responsible for them. All I can to is be happy with who I see in the mirror, how I feel about how things went down.
For the first time in a situation like this I am, I have worried over this for days, it certainly hasn’t been an easy decision for me to choose to make. But I have. And I feel free for doing it.