Thursday 11 June 2015
Aaaaahhhh, humankind. Some days you are the most amazing species ever to have graced the earth. Other days, like today, you’re just a collective, a bunch, a wad of arsehats. Come with me on a short journey of notable arsehats that have come to my attention either today or within the last couple of days.
- An Australian politician, who I have decided not to name because all the Aussies know anyway and all you international folk probably don’t care about his name, had the absolutely brilliant idea that young Australians to get into the housing market in the following way: ‘the starting point for a first home buyer is to get a good job that pays good money’. Ya think?! Of course, just because you want a good job that pays good money doesn’t mean that you’re going to get one. So yeah, that kinda makes it a lil difficult for young Aussies to buy their first home. And we’re painfully aware that even though you went to university and got yourself a nice degree or two you’re not guaranteed any job at all. The comment made by this politician was the cause, I believe, of many, many Australians banging their heads against brick walls in frustration at the ridiculousness of the comment. It was made even worse when the most senior of Australian politicians announced that one of his daughters had managed to buy her first home . . . in an alleged city with a downturn in real estate prices . . . and she has a public sector job . . . but I’m not making any sort of judgements about that.
- An Australia couple has agreed to divorce if same-sex marriage is legalised in Australia. They’ve apparently been married for ten years, and are expecting to divorce by the end of the year. Y’see, this couple believes in the sanctity of marriage as set out in the Bible. They believe that by legalising same-sex marriage, the door will be opened to polygamy. Wait . . . what the f@$k? As if there aren’t already people in the world who engage in polygamy. Please. It already happens. And is this Christian couple, well, I’ll use his alleged words to cover the next point: ‘Once you say that marriage is detached from children, [that it’s] just about love, then when three people come to the state and say ‘well we’re all in love’, then the state has no grounds, except unjust discrimination, to say why they can’t get married.’ So, lemme get this straight, he believes that marriage is about children then love? What about couples who don’t want kids? Are they not allowed to be married? Or couple who can’t have kids? I suppose they shouldn’t be allowed to get married according to this couple. Because heaven forbid that marriage just be about loving someone. There’s no way that would be accepted in the Bible, right?! The only thing I can say to this idea of divorcing as a protest against legalising same-sex marriage is ‘arsehats’.
- I probably should mention the controversial story today of the young boy walking around Martin Square with a toy AK47, and the way the issue polarised people. Yeah, probably should but I don’t even know where to go with it. Aside from the fact that it was in Martin Square, a location now synonymous with the Lindt Café siege and the loss of Tory and Katrina, why would you let your kid walk around in public with a toy gun that did kinda look realistic? Police officers have shot kids because they’ve been playing with toy guns that look sorta realistic. For the safety of your own child, why, why, why would you do that? I don’t have kids and yet I can see how bad an idea it is to allow the kid to wander around in public holding a toy AK47.
- Closer to home, I’m sick to death of arsehats that can’t drive to a) the speed limit, and b) road and weather conditions. There’s a fair bit of roadwork going on outside of town, as locals will know, and for ages we’ve been on very restricted speed limits in and around that work. Millions of dollars are being spent on straightening the curves in the road, widening it, etc. and yet, going out of town a couple of days ago, I’m overtaken in areas where it is posted that overtaking is prohibited. I’m passed by idiots doing more than 100km an hour, and I know that they’re speeding because I’m doing the speed limit, and after they overtake I don’t see them again. They’ve sped off down the highway. As far as I can see, “fixing” the road won’t prevent road deaths, but more police on the road might. How about that? Spend the money on highway patrols and an increase in police presence rather than the road itself, and we’ll drop the number of road deaths per year.
I know that I’ve come across many more arsehats in the last couple of weeks, but I did say that this would be a short journey into arsehattedness. If you’ve come across any arsehats recently, leave a comment below and tell me all about it.