Sunday 10 February 2019
I didn’t think commercial television could get any worse than some of the unmitigated cr@p that appeared on our TV screens over the last couple of years. But hey, some of the Aussie TV channels were happy to try and prove me wrong. And prove me wrong they did. Just with tonight’s viewing line up.
One particular channel, Channel 7, started off with an episode of My Kitchen Rules (MKR). It was the first episode of the show that I forced myself to watch this season. By that I mean that I haven’t watched a single episode of the series 10 until tonight’s episode. And boy am I glad that I’ve not bothered with it. After last year’s sh!t fight with Sonya and Hadil versus every other team, the intense bullying and harassment, and the good teams getting eliminated when the sh!t teams were getting through, I’d decided there was no way I was going to watch this series. And I’ve pretty much stuck to my guns on that one.
However, Channel 7, despite the criticism and slaying it received online last year, decided what better way to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the show than have another polarising team on board. So, they brought in brothers Josh and Austin who, by their own admission, have no filters and say whatever the hell they want to say under the guise of ‘truth and honesty’. Anyone with half a brain knows that these two are just being nasty. Channel 7 is making a big push to ensure the audience know the boys were home schooled, as if that is an excuse for their inexcusable behaviour towards other competitors. Channel 7 also keep reminding the audience at every possible promo point that they boys are born again Christian, possibly hoping that the audience will go there and demand to know why Josh and Austin are not behaving or speaking in a particularly Christian manner.
As I mentioned, tonight’s is the first episode I’ve forced myself to watch because, I’ll admit it, I wanted to see these two boys brought down a peg or two. I was also swayed my judge Manu saying he’d never expressed himself in that way in ten series. I wouldn’t say it was compelling, more like watching a train crash unfold. You know what I’m talking about: you just can’t peel your eyes away from the sh!t that’s becoming messier as the seconds tick by.
I’m not going to go through a blow-by-blow account of the episode because, quite frankly, that’s two hours of my life that I’ll never get back. I will, however, mention that the boys got their ar$es handed to them on a platter, especially after making the other competitors wait 4.5 hours after entrée for their mains, with Josh saying he’d prefer to go for integrity in his cooking than just slapping something on a plate and delivering it to the dining room. Yes, of course, if he were in a restaurant, he’d happily wait 4.5 hours for the chef to deliver his mains after consuming the entrée. Of course you would, Josh, of course.
This show gets sh!ttier each series because Channel 7 is only interested in creating ratings. If the company was concerned with actually producing a decent competitive cooking show, they’d stop casting people who can’t cook, and people who are complete tossers. And my ire isn’t just confined to the details of the cooking show. I’m disgusted with the fact that Channel 7 on one hand considers itself to be a company that abhors online bullying and trolling, but finds it perfectly acceptable to have competitors on its shows doing exactly that – bullying, trolling, harassing, and threatening. I’ve written about this before, so I’ll conclude this paragraph with a challenge to Channel 7: smarter up, Channel 7, smarten up.
Where things get tacky with Channel 7 is the show that was broadcast immediately after MKR. Operation: Live. You don’t need an imagination to guess what this show’s going to be about. Tonight’s episode, because apparently there’s more than one, was a “live” broadcast of a caesarean birth. You read that correctly, yes. Channel 7 believes that the majority of its viewers want to go from a competitive cooking show to watching a live caesarean birth. Food to childbirth. That’s logical, right?
Assuming they paid the pregnant mother a fee for broadcasting her caesarean, who thinks it’s a great idea to find a mother and broadcast her caesarean nationwide? Who does that? That’s right, Channel 7. At some point in the future, I’m assuming it will be next week, they’re doing the same with a heart bypass operation.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the point we’ve come to as a viewing public. Interloping in what should be deeply personal and intimate medical procedures for the sake of ratings and being the number one TV channel in Australia. And look, I know I’ve paid out of Channel 7 in this post, but they’re the ones sh!tting me the most at the moment. I used to like Channel 7. Hell, I used to love Channel 7. It televised the best TV dramas and comedies. Now, it’s basically prostituted itself and its integrity to chase higher ratings than the other channels here in Australia. All the other channels are doing the same thing, prostituting themselves for a bigger slice of the ratings pie. It’s no wonder Netflix and Foxtel are powerhouses in the TV industry these days. They’re actually producing a higher percentage of watchable shows. Funny, seems like there’s a lot of logic in that.
Okay, I think I’ve got that out of my system for now. Thank God some of the commercial channels have interesting movies and repeats of old TV shows to watch. Underworld: Evolution here I come.